all the things

today, i had a "house meeting" with my roommates even though one didn't show up. we divvied up chores and decided how we are going to pay bills, and figured out that when the last person leaves the house, the heat should be turned down to 62 degrees. we ate breakfast together and i poisoned everyone with some cinnemon rolls (not because i made them badly, they're pillsbury in a can, how do you screw those up? it's just everyone is a health nut except me and they were worried about all the preservatives...) i ran to the video store and rented a video i need to watch for a class tomorrow. i did some homework (very well, i might add, and i am quite proud!) ... i walked Pandora and Sacha and it was beautiful outside (50 degrees, the sun was shining, the sky was clear). i came back here and reflected on what a nice weekend i'd had even though/perhaps because of not seeing any of my friends =o i spoke to A and scheduled to see her next thursday...
now i need only watch the video and i officially can feel ok about completing my responsibilities for the weekend (which feels wonderful, i got a lot done!) and i can feel that i totally relaxed, too.
perfect.

yay

who could have asked for a more perfect weekend?
friday i left work an hour early because there was nothing more to do. then i went home, played with my doggie (Pandora) and her new friend who lives with us (Sacha, a 13 year old boy Rottweiler), watched Law & Order from a tape my dad had sent me (because i couldn't get reception for it last week in the ice storm, so i called my dad & asked him to tape it for me), ate some leftover spaghetti and breadsticks, and then went and watched a comedy show for a little while. i came home, watched a new L&O (SVU)! good times.

now i'm in my home-state again. visiting the family. a break. i'd been stressed out about coming, but i am glad i am here. the weather is beautiful and even if it wasn't, it would feel like it was. i've driven everywhere with the windows down and felt the rush and the humidity (compared to desert conditions at home) on my face, in my hair. perhaps i don't even need lotion here. i haven't showered yet today.
i'm not clear on the weirdness factor. is it weird for me to come "home" to the place that i grew up? this is the bedroom in which i spent my teenage years and yet it's not. nothing is the same; the bed is different and suddenly there are bookshelves and a computer desk and computer that are foreign. this is the "guest room" now; the only items that are MINE are those that i brought with me. so it's not really home and yet it is.
and, i learned to drive here. my first attempts behind the wheel occurred in this state, and my first careful navigating and attempts at directions and maneuvering of roads were on these roads, these highways, these boulevards. they're eerily familiar. because they're so familiar, i know them inside out, but i rarely rarely drive on them, and usually not in MY car. i say that knowing i drove on them for ten weeks in my car last fall... but every other visit, every other time in the last five years that i've driven on them, has been in a borrowed car. they're like borrowed streets now that i think about it. borrowed streets in a borrowed neighborhood that i traverse in a borrowed car, and i briefly borrow a life. this is not my life, not any more, this hectic pacing and frantic ratrace of silicon valley. this maybe used to be my life, but this is not my life now. except for a week here, a long weekend there, and ok, ten weeks last fall. borrowed life. not mine. *my* life is in that other state, with my dog and my baby, , and my friends...
so in a way it's nice to have a break, to borrow a life for a while. mine's really nice! i love it! and sometimes it's nice to have another, just for a while, just for a change. and then, and then, i start to miss my life, the life i understand and know. the life i love. so i will go back. in a week.

eh

what am i doing awake at eight in the morning? i woke up at just before eight o'clock and i couldn't get back to sleep. i know, it's nine on the time that i am used to, but still.. =) i am used to being someone who sleeps until noon, who sleeps at least 10 hours per night...

here is my horoscope for today:
Just when you thought you had it all worked out in your head about love and romance, something or someone steps in to put your heart in a whirl once again. More than likely, the intensely emotional drama of the day is a passing phase, so try not to get too worked up over it. Things may seem like a life or death situation today, but remember deep down that they are not.

well, that sounds like fun. =)

here is part of my "November horoscope":
For the most part, December is shaping up to be a good month for you, dear Aquarius. The thing for you to remember most is that the possibilities are limitless. The choices in your destiny are infinite, so don't limit yourself by thinking you can only do things a certain way. Don't sleep through your most important decisions. Make sure that your actions are conscious and deliberate at all times so that you ensure control of your own life.

i like that. =)

motivation

the internet is entirely too full of interesting things that i could be doing. i've taken entirely too much time to do them instead of other things that would be much more beneficial to me. why do i put off doing things that would benefit me? it's like the tony robbins tape that i was listening to said.. the associated pain of getting off my butt and doing the thing seems greater at the time than the pleasure i'll have of accomplishment. i need to redefine the pleasure and pain aspects and then i will DO IT! am i babbling and not making sense? hope not.
so i think i will redefine right now. that would be a good thing. i DO want to do things to better myself... the whole idea of my being a happier more successful person is quite exciting! ok i am going to go get on it!!!!

Girl Scouts...

just so you know, i went to the girl scout website, and verified that the person listed really exists and is the leader of the girl scouts. i also went to the AFA website and verified their campaign against the girl scouts. so the information posted below is 100% true and accurate, and i strongly urge you to write to ms. matsui yourself. below the information, i've posted an email that i wrote to her, that you are welcome to use in part, of course you'll need to modify it if you are not a former girl scout or troop leader....
thanks for taking the two minutes to do this...

-------------------------------------------------

GIRL SCOUTS ATTACKED FOR INCLUSION OF LESBIANS AND GAYS


A group of religious extremists called the American Family Association, based in Tupelo Mississippi, is attacking the Girl Scouts because that organization refuses to discriminate against lesbians and gays. Unlike the Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts has always been inclusive. In the mid-90s, the organization went on the public record with a statement to the Associated Press that said it does not discriminate based on sexual orientation.


A few months ago, the Girl Scout national president, Connie Matsui, made favorable remarks about a video called "That's A Family," which positively depicts lesbian and gay family groups. (Ms. Matsui attended a screening at The White House during the final days of the Clinton Administration.)


The bigots at the American Family Association have sent 10,000 letters of protest to the national Girl Scout organization, demanding that Ms. Matsui retract her statement and/or resign. In contrast, the Girl Scouts have receive only 5 -- that's right, five -- letters of support.


Please write to Ms. Matsui and let her know that we appreciate the Girl Scouts' stand on behalf of diversity and of gay and lesbian families. And please forward this message to all of your friends.


**Send messages to cmatsui@girlscouts.org**


It's important that the Girl Scouts hear from us, since they are beginning to equivocate on their stand. Let them know that they are doing the right thing!

-------------------------------------------------


To: cmatsui@girlscouts.org
Subject: not discriminating...

Hello,

I hope I am not bothering you or acting mis-informed. I saw some information regarding the "American Family Association" bothering you and the Girl Scouts regarding the policy of not discriminating based on sexual orientation.

I wanted to applaud the Girl Scouts for not discriminating. I am a former Girl Scout as well as a former Girl Scout Troop Leader, and am proud of it, especially knowing that the organization refuses to bend to right-ist groups who intend to pressure it into policies of hate.

Please continue your policy of acceptance.

Thank you,

[signature]

WoW has eaten my soul

I am such a dork. I have a Horde shirt.